Outtaverse part 5: Rise and Shine
by Madcap13
Summary: Faith wakes up from her second coma to a world full of nasty surprises. One of the first things she does is prank call Angel investigations.
1. Coma girl

Outtaverse part 5: Rise and Shine.

Summary: Faith wakes up from her second coma to a world full of nasty surprises and one of the first things she does is prank call Angel investigations. I screwed with the timeline a little bit more than usual on this one. What can I say? I was bored.

Disclamier : Unless you haven't figured it out, I don't own any of this.

Distribution : Sure, go ahead. Ask first if ya can.

Feedback: Please read and review. Ooh yeah, that's it. You feedback me so good, baby. A little lower. Lower still.

Warning : Rated R for like, uh, stuff. Minors watching pornography, a little violence, just plain old disturbing behavior. You know, the usual.

Recap : Set in the fifth season. From previous outtaverse episodes, Faith is in a coma and Buffy is keeping her in the spare bedroom. Tara has grown some sort of a special bond with the Scythe, that shiny red axe thing from season seven of BTVS. Yeah, that one. The scoobies invited an evil-fighting demon called Tell to Sunnydale and so far there in there hasn't been any mention of Glory.

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Part 5.

Faith hid in the darkness of a two story suburban home. The darkness here was liquid and suffocating. It swallowed the world whole.

The only lights were those coming through the curtains from outside and the time display on the microwave.

Faith was getting sick of this.

Faith was sick of Buffy haunting her.

Why wouldn't she just let her be?

Buffy with a dagger. Buffy running her ass down and throwing her in a hole and piling dirt over her grave. Buffy strangling her with a bed sheet. Buffy with fangs.

Actually Buffy with fangs usually wasn't so bad just mostly uncomfortable.

It was the other Buffy's she couldn't stand, like the one with the pleasant smile that she wore while she stabbed at her.

A shadow moved in Faith's peripheral vision and she spun around, gasping and ducking, hoping it didn't see her.

Silently, she breathed with her eyes wide open and she saw it again.

Quickly, she looked around for a weapon but there weren't any. She already knew there weren't any weapons here. There was no defense against it.

Choosing it's chance to attack, the lights flicked on and Faith screamed at it "Don't go near her!"

"Don't go near who?" Xander asked.

He was standing in the doorway, with his hand on the light switch.

Faith blinked, "Xander?"

"Who did you think it was?"

Faith shook her head, "I don't know."

"It's okay. It's just me." Xander said, touching her arm and lowering his head to meet her at eye level.

Looking down at where Xander touched her, she backed away, looking vulnerable, dirty and broken.

"I missed you." Xander offered, "We haven't met like this for a while."

"You're been busy."

Xander nodded, "More than you would believe but I still should have visited."

Faith frowned, "We both know we can't control that."

Xander looked away in thought then turned back with a smile, "That book you gave us, it helped."

Faith smiled weakly but still didn't look up, "It looked important."

"Why did you steal it anyway?"

Faith shrugged.

Xander chuckled, "Faith, it takes more effort to keep secrets here. By the way, nice ass."

"Thanks. Nice bod. I really had fun using it on Harmony."

Not being insulted or even shocked, Xander just asked "Really? What was she like?"

"Awesome! But I'd like to try it again on some other chick so I can compare, you know?"

"No. I think it's my turn next." Xander joked.

"If you say so. How is everyone? Buffy hasn't been visiting. I still hear Dawn sometimes." Faith said then tilted her head, confused, "Funny thing. I keep dreaming about geography and history. I never did that in the hospital."

Xander frowned in thought, trying to recall something from the waking world, "Dawn. Whispering her homework in your ears."

"Remind me to spank her for that later." Faith said with a mischievous smirk.

"Okay." Xander shrugged casually, "Joyce is recovering from brain surgery. The docs think the worst is behind her."

Faith frowned, "What about whatshername? Anya? She doesn't know about us, does she?"

"What's to tell? We're not doing anything wrong."

Faith sighed, "I guess. Uh, look, sorry for stealing your body."

Xander shrugged, "I'm getting used to it. I know you didn't mean it."

"How long have I been like this?"

The simple question made Xander visibly uncomfortable.

"You've been in the basement for three months now."

"Three months? Man. It didn't seem like that."

"What did it seem like?"

"I don't know. The time here, it's all.."

"Not here?" Xander suggested.

Faith chuckled, "Yeah. That's it exactly. It's like it doesn't matter or something. Like I don't matter."

"Faith –"

"No." Faith stopped him, "You need to do it. You need to pull the plug."

"Where is this coming from?" Xander asked, concerned.

"It's not like I want to kill myself. It's just.. I'm the slayer. I can't be in a coma for years on end. Not when there could be someone else out there. Someone who could be helping Buffy."

Xander laughed and Faith got angry at him, "What's so fucking funny?"

"You don't know?"

"I don't know what?"

"Faith. You died."

Faith blinked, "What?"

Xander nodded, "Not permanently. A new sister was called."

"Oh. So now there's three of us?" Faith laughed a demented laugh, "Oh man. I bet Buffy's having a fit with the new girl."

"She's a work in progress." Xander mumbled as he looked around the house, realizing that he didn't recognize the building, "Where are we?"

"Home." Faith said morbidly, "It went away and didn't come back."

Xander picked up a picture frame from the ground, the photo inside blurred beyond recognition.

"Your family?"

"Once and only."

"You could always make a new home." Xander suggested.

"With you?" Faith asked hopefully.

"No. Not just me. With us. We've got a surprise waiting for you there." Xander replied, smiling, "Will you think about it?"

"Xander, haven't you figured it out yet? We don't think here. We just are who we are."

Xander frowned, "Is that a yes?"

Biting her bottom lip, Faith smiled at him seductively, "We'll see, lover boy."

OXOXOX

Buffy was sitting alone on a bench in the hospital.

In her hands was the silver cross Angel gave her all those years ago.

She felt like she should have been praying but wouldn't because that would be a sign of weakness and someone was watching.

She was always watching herself but right now someone else was watching her too.

"Spike." Buffy growled, "What are you doing here?"

Spike sighed and came out of the shadows but not quite into the light, "What gave me away?"

"The smell of bacon burning." Buffy explained, "So what are you doing here?"

Spike sniffed himself then looked back up at Buffy, "Oh. I was just checking to see how Joyce is doing. Plus, I was bored."

"She's sleeping. Not that you care."

"How dare you say such a thing? I so do care. She's always decent to me. Always has a cuppa to spare and unlike a certain Summers, she's a people person."

"I'm a people person!"

"You are so not a people person."

"I am.. Grr! Why am I arguing with you about this?"

"I could ask the same question." Giles asked as he walked along the hall, "Buffy. Everything is okay I take it?"

Buffy nodded.

Giles smiled, "Good. Well, I brought donuts."

Buffy chuckled, "You brought donuts?"

"Xander was busy running the town or some such nonsense. I'm sure he really wanted to bring you donuts."

Buffy almost laughed as she put her necklace back on, "Thanks Giles. If you keep this up, you might grow up to be a half decent Xander."

"I'm not holding my breath." Giles said, on the verge of laughing but also not quite there.

Buffy opened the donuts carton in Giles hands and took out a cinnamon and apple donut for herself.

"Can I have one?" Spike asked.

Giles turned the carton towards Spike and asked Buffy, "So how are you doing?"

"Fine. I just really want to see Mom better."

"I think me and Giles are with you there, luv." Spike told her.

Buffy smiled at him for a second, knowing that he was only trying to be supportive, which was weird.

"Giles?" Buffy asked slowly, "I was just thinking. Do you think there's anything magic wise that could help Mom? Like a potion or some sort of healing salve?"

Giles shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "The truth is that the mystical and the medical aren't meant to mix. Even the best healers wouldn't operate on Joyce. The human mind is fragile. Too much can go wrong. I confess, I'm no expert in the area but from what I gather, most true healing magic is very passive. It just supports the body to heal itself."

"Oh, hang on. I remember this one guy. He had a case similar to Joyce's." Spike said, rubbing his chin as if he didn't have a crystal clear memory of what he was referring to and it was taking him time to remember.

"Really?" Buffy asked, "What happened?"

"Hmm. I think you staked him. Remember that guy that trapped you in a basement?"

Buffy grumbled angrily, "You're not helping."

"Maybe you could try alternative medicines." Spike suggested, "Like this one time in China, I tried acupuncture on a dare. It wasn't really so bad.'

Buffy tapped her foot and gave him stake-eyes.

"All I'm saying is we shouldn't jump straight to magic." Spike told her, "Magic always has consequences which people seem to ignore. You give Joyce back her health with it and who knows what will happen. At best, she just grows a tail. At worst, she stops being Joyce at all and I know you don't want that."

"Alright, alright guys. I'll drop the whole magic potion notion." Buffy said disappointedly then turned to Giles, "So. Anything new with the Nimrod appendicitis? Any more super friends to lojack?"

"Uh-uh. No. Willow and Tara seem to have hit a wall on the scrying front and.." Giles looked a little uncomfortable for a second then said "This isn't really the time to worry about that."

Buffy shrugged, "It keeps my mind busy. Like, did you find anything in that book about.. what we talked about?"

Spike raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me? What we talked about? What's that?"

"It's private." Buffy scolded him, "Butt out."

"Ooh, sorry. Seems I hit a nerve. What I'd like to know is have you read any more into Tell, the midget demon?"

Giles coughed to clear his throat, rather than to get attention and said "This is partially why I wanted to see you Buffy. Not just about what we were talking about but about several articles I've dug up in the Nimrodim appendix. I'm just taking a break from it for the moment but I should get back to it. Willow and Tara have invited Anya and Harmony to a fraternity party tonight so why don't you go and then come back to the magic box afterwards for a meeting?"

Buffy thought about it, "Sure. That will keep my mind off things."

Giles got up to leave then turned around and said "Be sure that Tara comes and she brings along the scythe."

"Scythe?" Spikes asked.

Buffy snorted, "Where have you been? That's what they're calling the angry red fire-axe now."

"Oh but it doesn't look at all like a scythe." Spike argued.

Buffy sighed, "Artistic license, look it up. And sure, Giles. I'll be make sure Tara comes with her little friend."

"I'll see you there then." Giles told her, "And good luck with Joyce. I hope she feels better."

"Thanks." Buffy said quietly as Giles left.

"So where's Dawn?" Spike asked as he moved into the light, "She in there with her?"

"Nah. I left her and Tell at home to babysit coma girl."

"You WHAT!" Spike yelled.

Buffy blinked at him.

"I left her at home." Buffy told him, confused as to what he was angry at, "Relax. Faith won't be able to hurt her with Tell there. She's kinda like a pet rock except occasionally she makes funny sounds. Mumble mumble must kill Buffy mumble mumble need more mascara. At least she's keeping Dawn out of my hair. Is it just me or has been been ultra-annoying recently? Like more annoying than ever before?"

Spike squinted at her, "You left Dawn alone with Tell?"

"Uh yeah. Why? What's so weird about that?"

"Buffy. He's a demon."

"Yeah and?"

"He's a killer."

Buffy looked at Spike askew, "Have you been digging into the Harmony's chocolate supply?"

Spike growled, "Buffy. Who knows what that guy is doing to your sister right now."

Buffy laughed at him as if he was being silly, "Last time I checked, he was braiding her hair. I trust him not to do anything inappropriate with Dawn. I trust him more than I've ever trusted you. He's almost like a cousin. A really trustworthy cousin. That's what he's like. Spike, the only evil here is you. Revel in it."

"Oh, I will. When he tears your head off, I bet you he'll let me watch. You haven't seen the fire in his eyes when he kills because you haven't looked. You'd rather wrap yourself up in your little security blanket of ignorance while he's just waiting for his chance to bump you off."

"Yup. I can really see how you would come to that conclusion with how he's been so helpful. Unlike a certain someone who's a demon and a killer and is just waiting for his chance to cut into me and I'm looking right at him!"

"Oh sure, turn it all around on me." Spike said sourly, "But I'm the devil you know and he's the one you don't. Think about it, how much do you know about him? He's been here for three months already and I've been looking into him and I can't find anything."

"I know his twin brother is a prostitute." Buffy pouted.

Spike stared at Buffy oddly for a second then walked away, his duster flapping dramatically behind him.

OXOXOX

The summer's Sunnydale home, the coma room.

Dawn was sitting at a desk next to Faith's bed and all her hair was heavily braided back away from her face. It was a look that Dawn never would've thought to give herself but couldn't show it off to her mom enough.

The desk she was sitting at she had put into Faith's room herself.

At first, she used to do her homework on the floor and then she heard Buffy say that she didn't like her spending so much time in Faith's room, breathing her air, how creepy it was, like hellmouth creepy.

So obviously Dawn moved a desk and a chair into the room.

At first she found the beeping of the heartbeat monitor really annoying but she soon found that she could turn it down and even change the tone. Once she did that, she found that the room was actually very relaxing. The only sounds were Faith's incredibly soft, hypnotic breathing. She had to move her ear up to Faith's mouth to hear it to begin with but once she knew what to listen for she could hear it easily.

Although, Dawn wasn't doing her homework like the rest of her family thought she was. She was writing in her journals.

Tapping her pen on the pad, she turned to Faith and said "You know, Buffy's been really bitchy since Riley left. Even worse than when Angel left town. I don't know why she has to take it out on me."

Dawn tapped the pad a few more times.

"What I can't get is why. Why did Riley leave?" Dawn asked, "I guess Riley wanted sex and Buffy is too stuffy for that. If it was you, you could've kept him. Not that you would've wanted to."

Faith didn't say anything but Dawn waited, as if she could hear her talk.

"Yeah. I did overhear that Riley left because Buffy's gay which is… so absolutely gross. The thought of Buffy with a guy is bad but Buffy with another girl, ewwww. Like, I'm a girl."

"Dawn." Faith said weakly.

Dawn blinked and jumped out of the chair "Faith. You're awake."

"Dawn." Faith said again, "Can you just shut the hell up for five minutes. I'm trying to sleep here."

"BUFFY!" Dawn screamed.

"What?" Buffy's voice came from the hall as she stormed down it to the room, "Keep it down, Mom is.."

"Oh crap." Faith and Buffy said together.

The first thing Faith did when she realized her situation was pull the hypodermic needle out her arm.

"Faith." Buffy said evenly as Dawn hid behind her, "You're okay. No one's going to hurt you."

Faith tossed off the heartbeat monitor clip from her thumb then pulled the blanket around her and scrunched up into the corner of the room.

"What the hell is going on?" Faith croaked, her face terrified.

"Dawn. Why don't you go get Faith something to drink from downstairs?" Buffy told her sister who quickly left the room, not needing an excuse.

Faith looked around the room frantically, trying to figure out what was going on and possible escape scenarios.

"Buffy. What is..oh." Joyce said from the doorway, "Hello Faith. Buffy, you should get her some clothes."

"Mom. You shouldn't be up." Buffy told her, moving to support her mother who didn't need it.

"I'm fine." Joyce told her, "Now about those clothes."

"Fine." Buffy sighed then turned to Faith, "You stay there."

When Buffy left Joyce rested herself down on the chair Dawn was sitting in earlier.

"Are you in any pain?" Joyce asked.

Faith blinked at her, "Huh?"

"Pain. Are you in any pain?" Joyce asked again, "You might be confused. Faith, you've been in a coma for the past three months."

Faith nodded and ruffled her hair away from her face, "I've done this before."

She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, Dawn was shaking her awake.

"What?" Faith asked, annoyed, opening her eyes to see the whole Summers family in the room with her.

"Drink this." Dawn told her, holding a glass of orange juice out for her.

Faith looked at the juice skeptically.

"If I wanted to poison you, I've had a months to do it." Dawn told her.

Faith shook her head, "It's not that. I just don't have my appetite back yet."

"You know what would help with that?" Dawn asked her, "Drinking something. You should try it."

Faith took the glass with both hands and drank the contents.

Afterwards, she was breathing deeply like she had just run around the block.

"So. Can I get dressed now?" Faith asked.

"Sure." Buffy told her, "Why don't you have a shower first?"

Faith wrapped the blanket around her and got out of the bed.

"I know where it is." Faith said as she moved to the bathroom.

As she shuffled into the bathroom, Buffy bundled some clothes on the sink for her.

Dropping the blanket, Faith slowly stepped into the bath and turned on the shower head.

Slipping out of the adult diaper she was wearing, she walked into the water and let it wash over her.

OXOXOX

Three quarters of an hour later and the sound of running water was gone.

"She's been in there a while." Dawn said, worried, "Maybe she's slipped and hit her head."

"She's just thinking." Buffy told her sister, "Wouldn't you be in her situation? The last time she saw me she tried to.."

"Kill you?" Dawn asked.

"Uh, yeah. Kill me. That's what she tried." Buffy said uncomfortably, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"Are you going to be okay with her living here?" Dawn asked.

"Live here?" Buffy laughed, "She is not living here. I'd kill her before the weeks up. We'll find somewhere else for her to live."

"It better not be that stinky motel." Dawn told her.

Buffy chuckled evilly, "Ooh, that would poetic. Back to square one."

"Buffy. That place was gross." Dawn grimaced, "It smelt like grandpa."

Before Buffy could reply, the door to the bathroom opened and Faith stood in the doorway wearing a white sweater, white jeans and some cross trainers.

"I hate you." Faith said lowly.

"I know." Buffy said with a smile, "But how about before we fight to the death we get you something to eat?"

Faith looked at Buffy askew but nodded, "Okay. You first."

"Buffy." Joyce called from her bedroom.

"Yes?" Buffy called back with a concerned look, "You need something?"

"No. I just thought it would be nice if you took Dawn and Faith outside."

"Mom!" Buffy and Dawn yelled together.

"Buffy. Dawn's been inside all day and Faith needs some fresh air and I need my sleep. So please?"

"Okay Mom." Buffy conceded and walked down the stairs, followed by Dawn who was followed by an overly cautious Faith.

They moved into the kitchen and the Summer sisters looked into the fridge.

"Give her the yogurt." Dawn told her sister, "Yogurt would help strengthen her stomach lining."

"My non-fat yogurt? I think not." Buffy scoffed, "That's my special treat."

"Okay. Then your mung bean salad. It's full of vitamins and minerals and it was an impulse buy." Dawn argued.

Buffy frowned, "Fine. Faith. Do you want to eat my mung bean salad?"

"Okay. What's going on?" Faith asked them, "Why is the golden slayer suddenly so happy to see me?"

"Faith. It's like this." Buffy told her, pulling out an apple from the bowl and a large cutting knife from a cupboard, "We need your help and you need ours."

"The hell I do." Faith spat, "You want to kill me."

Without even listening to Faith, Buffy kept talking, "Someone evil, even eviler than you, wants to extract your slayer powers from you. We want to stop them and I'm sure you want them stopped too."

But Faith wasn't listening to Buffy. Her attention was on the knife in Buffy's hand. It was so very shiny.

Before Buffy could react, Faith rushed forwards and pushed the knife up. Buffy screamed in terror as Faith slowly buried the knife into her neck.

"ARRRRR! FUCK!" Faith screamed, thrashing around on the floor, "What the fuck just happened?"

Buffy looked over the kitchen island to where Faith was lying against the other side and asked her "Did you just think of doing something naughty. Maybe with this knife here?"

Faith looked at the knife Buffy was hanging the knife over her head like a sword of Damocles.

Faith backpedaled along the floor to get away from her, "What did you do to me?"

"Long story short, Every time you hurt a human being you get a large jolt of electricity in the pink bits between your ears. It's called negative reinforcement."

"But I didn't do anything." Faith whined.

Buffy shrugged, "Sometimes you'll get a zap if you just think about hurting someone too. Aint that great?"

Faith rushed Buffy for real this time and Buffy just pushed her back when the chip cut in again.

"I'll kill you!" Faith cried, "You can't do this me!"

"Actually you were in a coma. So we could do whatever we wanted." Buffy said with a big grin, "Ooh, better watch out Dawn. Faith's getting her scowl on."

Dawn frowned at Buffy, "Buffy, you don't have to be so mean to her."

"I know. I'm just going above and beyond the call of duty." Buffy said as she started cutting her apple, "Let me explain this in terms you can understand, Faith. This means you can't kill people."

Buffy cut the apple in half violently.

"And you can't start bar fights for fun or rob service stations for spare cash." Buffy continued, and quartered the apple.

"And you can no longer muscle your way through life with the constant disregard for those around you." Buffy said as she carefully cut the core out of the apple.

Then she threw the apple core into the insinkerator and turned it on for a few seconds too long.

"Do you think you can grasp that?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah. I got it." Faith said, glaring at Buffy.

"But it's not all bad." Dawn told Faith, trying to cheer her up, "Now everyone will be okay with having you around and you can stay in town with us and we can hang out again."

Faith squinted at her, "Buffy, how long has your sister been insane?"

"At least a year now."

"Hey!" Dawn yelled Buffy, "You're the insane one. You dressed Faith in white. You're trying to get her mad at you."

Buffy gave her a fake shocked look, "But that's cashmere. Everyone likes cashmere."

Faith looked at the sweater, "I don't think I've ever worn cashmere before. It's.. kinda nice."

"It looks great on you." Dawn told her supportively.

"Uh, thanks. Are you two playing good cop, bad cop? Because you suck at it." Faith said then nicked one of Buffy's apple pieces and stuck it into her mouth before Buffy could stop her.

Buffy took the other three pieces and started eating them, trying not to look annoyed, "So, what will we do today?"

"We could go to the movies." Dawn said hopefully, "Or we could go shopping. Ooh! Shopping for leather. Faith likes leather. Faith knows leather. You could learn some things from her."

Faith's stomach grumbled, "Actually. Could we grab some cow in a bun? My appetite is returning."

OXOXOX

Xander's office at town hall.

Xander was sitting in the guest chair while the reviewing agent sat in the mayor's chair.

The agent, who Xander had never met before, had spent most of the morning skimming through the manila folders on his desk.

Xander knew the agent was trying his best not to be impressed but he was.

"White supremacists?" the Agent asked, trying not to laugh "You said the hostiles were white supremacists? That's creative but I hope you understand that this incident may rile white supremacy all over America."

Xander frowned, "I didn't think of that. What would you have used?"

"Middle eastern terrorists." The agent said snobbily, "A vastly safer subject."

Xander continued to frown, "But wouldn't that rile middle eastern terrorists?"

"Oh please. Everything riles those guys. There's no stopping it. Might as well make good use of a bad situation." The agent said with a laugh, "I do like this part. How the police of Sunnydale acted valiantly. Did you push for that be in the newspaper?"

Xander nodded with a smile. He knew it was a good idea to leave out the parts about magic spells and how they had half a day to plan for the attack but their plan fell apart in the first few minutes.

The agent put down the folder and grinned, "The entire operation was sloppy and unprofessional but all in all, I think the board will be pleased with how you and your civilian friends handled yourselves."

"Thank you."

"Now, there's just a few small matters to handle. Such as why did you request one of our top surgeons to operate on Mrs Summers when the local facilities could do the same thing?"

"Since he was in town, I thought it made sense to make use of a skilled brain surgeon. He seemed all too happy to lend a hand. He muttered something about not having operated on a human being for a while. I was just helping him regain his morale."

The agent gave him a sour look for a second then asked, "And what is this about a chocolate factory?"

"It's just a little project I'm working on. Some of my friends have been working on a mind altering substance which has a particularly interesting effect on vampires. They've created a recipe of chocolate which acts as a delivery system for the drug. Also, they added certain ingredients that are incredibly hard to swallow for a human but vampires seem to like. The projects aim is to have the chocolate distributed around the world by the vampires own supply lines, pacifying the vampire population and hopefully being able to trace the distribution so that we might find the vampires and dispose of them."

The agent gave Xander a look of disbelief, "You're serious? But I thought they didn't eat solid foods."

"Oh. The chocolate has a trace amount of blood in it which attracts them to it. The blood also somehow helps the subject to metabolize the drug. The chocolate is also terribly addictive. We're closely monitoring a test subject and so far they've been mostly non-violent."

"Mostly? What happened?"

"The test subject is a girl and she became sexually abused. Understandably, she got angry and she tried to kill the rapist. Riley Finn stopped her but it was a close thing. She was a lot calmer after she woke up."

The agent nodded, "This is intriguing. We will have to keep an eye on this."

OXOXOX

Town hall.

Buffy, Faith and Buffy were walking up a flight of wooden stairs on their way to the mayor's office.

Dawn was lapping away at the icecream in her hand while Faith was finishing off the rest of an icecream cone.

This was some time after Faith's appetite had kicked in and she had already eaten more than Dawn and Buffy had eaten all day.

After completely eating the cone, Faith leant over to Dawn's icecream and licked it.

"Hey!" Dawn yelled, "That's mine."

"It's mine now." Faith chuckled, "You know I've got herpes, right?"

Dawn looked shocked but licked the icecream defiantly then poked her tongue out at Faith.

"Oh! You're got herpes now." Faith laughed, "You'd better give me that now unless you want even more."

"Faith. That is disgusting." Buffy called back.

"I know." Faith mock agreed, "Dawn's got herpes. Eww. So where are we going again?"

"To the mayor." Buffy replied.

"You mean Xander?" Faith asked.

Dawn and Buffy looked at Faith shocked.

"How did you know that?" Dawn asked.

Faith kept walking, "I still remember some things from being inside his head."

"What was that like?" Dawn asked, intrigued, "Being Xander. Was it weird?"

Faith smiled wickedly, " Man. You wouldn't believe how fun it was seeing the world through the eyes of a guy. Guys were boring to look at but girls, damn! You were looking fine in those pajamas you were wearing. I think little Xander likes you a lot."

Dawn turned bright red and tried to hide the smile on her face.

Buffy sighed, "Faith. You're disgusting me on so many levels right now."

"Yeah but you can still talk about it. I wanna see you speechless." Faith laughed, "And you weren't bad either, B. A little skinny though. You need to eat something girl."

"So not having this conversation." Buffy said as she ignored Faith and they got off the stairs and walked along a hallway to Xander's office.

The agent who was reviewing Xander's activities passed them.

Buffy took note of him curiously but the others barely acknowledged his existence.

They walked through the two large wooden doors which were normally open and found Xander's secretary room empty.

Thinking nothing of it, Buffy and the others walked passed the desk and opened the next set of doors into Xander's office.

Inside his office was Xander lying on his desk with his secretary straddling his hips.

"Oh my god." Buffy said, looking away, "Sorry Xander."

"That's not Anya!" Dawn yelled.

Buffy turned her sister around, "We'll talk about this later."

But Faith had other ideas. She stormed into the office and yanked the secretary off Xander.

"Thanks." Xander said hoarsely, holding his throat.

"No prob." Faith said, punching the secretary in the face.

"Faith!" Buffy yelled, "You can't hurt anyone! The chip!"

Faith gave Buffy a weird look then got knocked to the floor by the secretary who was now straddling her and trying to strangle her.

She didn't have to struggle long before Xander kicked her in the head, knocking her off Faith and in front of Buffy.

As the vampire got onto her hands and knees, Buffy soccer kicked her in the chest and made her fly backwards and hit the stainless steel desk.

"Slayer." The vampire hissed, "You cannot stop the seeker of Azaroth. When he makes – ARRR!"

The vampire screamed as Faith pulled her at her and threw her through an open window.

"Faith!" Buffy yelled.

"What?" Faith asked, confused, "I was helping."

"She was about to monologue the evil plan to us and you dusted her." Buffy told her angrily.

Faith sighed, "There's no pleasing you."

"Xander." Dawn rushed to his side once the vampire was gone, "Are you okay?"

"Hey. It takes more than a crazed vampire to keep me down." Xander said as he stood himself up, "Damn, I go through more secretaries that way."

"That was Glennis?" Faith asked, shocked, "Sorry for your loss, Xander."

"Okay. That's ridiculous." Buffy told Faith, "You even knew his secretary's name? I didn't even know that."

Xander missed Buffy's outburst because he was staring at Faith, "So you're awake now? It's a surprise. A good surprise. I like the timing."

Faith shrugged, "Either I'm awake or this is all a dream. Wouldn't be the first time."

"Maybe you're dead and this is hell." Buffy suggested.

Xander chuckled, "Or there was a gas leak and this is all a hallucination due to the lack of oxygen to your brain."

"That's Giles' excuse." Buffy accused Xander.

Xander frowned and said "But it's so good. So much better than my food poisoning excuse for mass hallucination."

"No. I'm awake." Faith stated, "My imagination isn't good enough to make Xander the mayor."

"Must've been that doctor who fiddled with your cerebral cortex." Xander theorized, "A little brain surgery helped wake you up."

"You mean this thing Buffy had done to me was done by a doctor?" Faith asked then glared at Xander, "YOU! You had the doctor do it, didn't you?"

Xander turned slowly to Buffy and Dawn and said, "Could me and Faith have a private conversation? There's some things we need to settle."

Buffy and Dawn quietly and uncomfortably left, closing the doors behind them.

The first thing they heard through the doors was Faith screaming at the top of her lungs

"You ASSHOLE! I cant believe you did this to me!"

"I didn't want to but why are you being so mad anyway? Is there anyone you particularly want to hurt?"

Xander's voice came through clearly to where Buffy and Dawn were standing.

"Yeah, there is. You!"

Something was said by Xander but the doors muffled it.

"You think we've still got that connection?" Faith asked, "Think again! THIS is who I AM!"

Xander's reply was too quiet to hear.

"Grow up, Xander. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine. Go." Xander shot back angrily.

And Faith did go, pushing her way through the doors into the secretary's office.

"You're fucking crazy, X." Faith shot back, "You make me look sane."

"Whoa. Hang on." Buffy stopped her from totally leaving, "We didn't come here to pick on Xander. We came here for his help."

"Xander." Buffy called to him, "We're looking for somewhere for Faith to stay. I am NOT having her stay with us."

"Why'd you come to me then?" Xander shot back, still hot after his quick argument with Faith.

"I don't know." Buffy said, unsure of herself, "You're just the guy with his hand on the pulse of Sunnydale."

Xander sighed and thought about it, "Why don't you just ask Tell to take her in. He brought his house with visitors in mind. Just in case we scry anyone who decides to stay in town."

Buffy blinked, "Tell brought a house?"

Xander looked at her surprised, "He didn't show you it?"

"It's really nice." Dawn said then at Buffy's look, "You haven't seen it?"

"No. I didn't know he had a house." Buffy cried, "How come I'm the last to know?"

"I thought you'd be the first to know." Xander said, confused, "You two have been on the slay a lot recently."

"Yeah but he doesn't talk about himself." Buffy said, concerned.

"He's just shy." Dawn laughed, "Maybe he likes you."

"Who are we talking about?" Faith asked.

"Tell." Dawn told her, "He's great. You'll love him. He's the one who did my braids, aren't they awesome? He's so cool."

"He is?" Buffy asked her sister, "Since when? What else hasn't anyone told me?"

OXOXOX

Then Buffy, Dawn and Faith were standing in a completely bare foyer of a smallish mansion. In front of them stood Tell, frowning slightly at Faith.

Then he shrugged, "What the hell. I've always wanted a pet."

"Thanks, Tell." Buffy said with a massive grin, "You're a lifesaver. Faith's. If I have to spend another five minutes listening to the trash coming out of her mouth, I'm gonna kill her."

"Anything for a Summers." Tell said awkwardly.

Buffy looked around the expansive foyer, frowning.

"But one thing. Did you know that you brought the Chase mansion?" Buffy asked him, "Did Xander put you up to this?"

Tell raised an eyebrow, "What's so strange about that? I haven't noticed any ghosts or anything strange about it so far."

"Hey, Tell guy." Faith said, clicking her fingers to catch his attention, "I can have any room I want?"

"Except mine." Tell told her, pointing to a door, "And not the basement either. That's where Spike sleeps."

"Spike?" Buffy asked, "Spike lives with you?"

"You didn't know?" Tell asked her, "He just walked in like he owned the place a month or so back and has been hiding in the basement ever since."

"Hey, B. Can I borrow your cellphone? There's someone I HAVE to call." Faith said enthusiastically, as if Dawn was starting to rub off on her.

"The hell you do." Buffy scoffed at her, "You think I'm stupid? You'll spend the rest of my credit prank calling Australia."

"It's local." Faith told her, "Mostly. Close to local. Aww hell. Give it to Dawn. Then she call them for me."

"Okay. If it'll shut you up. Fine." Buffy grumbled and gave Dawn the cellphone.

With that, Faith and Dawn ran off upstairs.

OXOXOX

Angel investigations, LA.

Wesley picked up the phone at the front counter, seeing as it was his turn behind the counter.

"Angel investigations. We help the helpless." He said cordially, "How may I assist you?"

"Hey Wes. Is Cordelia there?"

Wesley straightened up in his chair, more alert.

"Faith?"

"You caught me out. So how's things? Sorry for being a sucky Slayer and all but I should point out you were a sucky Watcher. It all evens out. So is Cordelia there? I really need to talk to her."

"Where are you?"

"In Sunnydale. Don't worry. Everythings.."

The phone was muffled as there was a small struggle on the phone and Dawn's voice clipped in, "Hi Wesley." But Faith was quickly back on, "Go get Cordy. Get her now or the little nut gets it."

He frowned as he heard girly laughter in the background.

"All right. Don't do anything rash. I'll just get her."

Wesley rushed to Angel's office to find Cordelia in there with him.

By the look on his face, Angel knew something wasn't right, "What's wrong?"

'It's Faith. She's awake." Wesley explained and looked at Cordelia, "She's on the phone and she wants to talk to you."

"Me?" Cordelia asked.

"She's got Dawn."

"Oh god." Cordelia gasped and quickly picked up Angel's phone and pushed a line button, "Faith?"

"The one and only." Faith said cockily.

"What do you want?" Cordelia asked.

"I'm going to ask you a very simple question and you must answer it or else something bad will happen to Dawn."

Then Dawn was on the phone, her voice frantic, "Do what she says. I don't want her to tickle me again."

Angrily Faith said, "Forget that last part. I uh, got her drunk. Now. Do you remember the mansion you used to live in?"

"The manor? Sure. What about it?"

"Now remember back to when you used to live there. This is important. Tell me exactly where your bedroom used to be."

Cordelia paused.

"That's it?" she asked, "You want to know where my bedroom is?"

"That's right. Tell me now!" Faith yelled.

In the background, she heard Dawn crying out loud, "Arr! Faith. Stop that!"

"Alright!" Cordelia yelled, "When you go up the stairs it's the third door on the right. Stop torturing her. She's never done anything to you."

"Third door on the right? You're sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. I lived there. I think I could remember where my own bedroom was."

"Okay." Faith said slowly, "Arr. Here it is. Bwahaha! Was it your idea to have golden cherubs painted on the walls?"

Cordelia blinked, "No. No, you can't be there. Get out of my room!"

"It's my room now bitch. I live here. I think I'll paint the walls black and give it a whole new S&M look. Chains, shackles. Maybe install a pole. Then I'm going to send you pictures of me spanking the chief of police."

"What do you mean you live there! You can't live there. It's a mansion! You can't afford to live there."

Faith snorted, "Geez. You really have no idea how cheap estate is in Sunnydee, do you? Hate to tell you this but your folks were never rich. Middle class at best. I bet even my poor ass parents could've brought your man-shun."

"Faith! When I get to you, I'm going to-"

"Sorry. Can't talk." Faith said in her best snobby high society voice, "I have redecorating to do."

Then the phone went dead.

"What the HELL?" Cordelia yelled, "What was that about?"

"What did she want?" Angel asked as he took the phone off her and punched in a number.

Cordelia gave him a horrified look and shrugged, "I haven't a fricken clue."

Angel didn't have to wait long for an answer.

"Hello. Dawn here." Dawn said cheerfully.

"Dawn? What's happening over there? Where's Buffy."

"Pff! I dunno. Probably off with her boyfriend."

"WHAT!"

In the background, he heard Faith holler with laughter "Hoh! you're talented!"

"Is that Faith?"

"Yeah. She's awake now."

"How come no one told us?" Angel asked, "I specifically remember asking to be told when she wakes up."

"Oh, she only woke up about half an hour ago."

"So she's not doing anything crazy?" Angel asked.

"Nah. She can't. You see- Aiyee!"

Dawn squealed and the phone fell to the floor but Angel could still hear, "Put me down! You're crazy!"

Then the phone was picked up by Faith and she said "Hello. This is Faith speaking from between Dawn's thighs."

"WHAT!" Angel blurted out again.

"Get your head out of the gutter, lover boy. I'm just giving her a shoulder ride." Faith explained, "Dawn! Get your hands off that doorway or I'm going to drop you!"

In the background, he heard Dawn make a scared sound, "No, no! Not the stairs. Buffy! Get me down from here."

"Faith." Angel said calmly, "What is going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just moving into my new abode. It's nice. Very playboy mansion."

"Faith. Can we be serious for just a second?"

"Can you loosen up for a second? Did you ever think about that?" Faith asked, "Because everything's fine here. Buffy had one of those chips installed in my head so I can't hurt people."

"Like Spike?"

"Yeah. Just like Spike."

OXOXOX

"Be like Spike." Spike mused to Faith's right as she got to the bottom of the stairs with Dawn on her shoulders, "It's got a better ring to it than be like Mike. Don't you think?"

"Buff, lover's on the line. Catch." Faith told Buffy and carelessly tossed the phone in her direction then she looked Spike over, "You're Spike, arentcha? Hey, stoppit Dawn. I'm going to drop you if you keep that up."

"Well, look at the bad influence." Spike smirked as he looked her up and down, "All upwardly mobile. It looks good on you."

"My eyes are up here, chump." Faith told him, pointing to her face.

"Buffy. Help me." Said a terrified Dawn who was sitting on Faith's shoulders.

Buffy gave her a smirk then turned back around, talking into the cellphone.

Faith laughed, "Seems you're going to be stuck up there for a while."

But then she was forced to her knees as Tell pushed them in from behind.

"Hey!" Faith yelled as Dawn dismounted and hid behind Tell, "What's your problem?"

Tell looked at her calmly, "I don't think she liked what you were doing."

"That was the point!"

"That wasn't funny." Dawn yelled.

"I thought it was and that's what counts." Faith shrugged then smirked, "Hey Dawn, does Joyce know you're banging bodies with demon boy here?"

Tell buried his foot in the back of one of her knees which brought her to the ground again then grabbed her throat with one of his hands and pulled her backward over his knee so that she was mostly helpless.

"I'll let you live in my house but I won't have you sullying Dawn's honor." Tell said angrily.

Faith chuckled, her voice hoarse from Tell's hand on her throat, "Tell me one thing. Is she a moaner or a screamer?"

Baring his teeth for a second, he spun her around and executed a blindingly fast roundhouse kick that hit her into gut which made her skid along the smooth varnished floor be stopped by the opposite wall.

"So you're got some strength." Faith smiled as she got up, "I bet Dawnie just loves that."

"STOP!" Buffy ordered, which stopped Tell in mid-stride, "She only just came out of a coma. We don't want her back in one. Yet."

Then Buffy turned away and talked into the phone, "Tell was just beating the snot out of Faith."

Tell gave Buffy an angry look she didn't see and stormed off to his bedroom.

"So you're screwing both Summers." Faith sniggered as he left, "Or is it all three?"

"I think I was expecting more." Spike said to Dawn, disappointed, "This is the slayer Buffy's so afraid of?"

"You know Buffy." Dawn told Spike, twirling a finger around her temple, "If I had slayer powers, she wouldn't be any problem for me."

Spike chuckled, "If you had slayer powers you'd be a right terror."

Dawn smiled sweetly at him, "You think?"

"You would've left me for dust on the first face off unlike Buffy who I gave so many chances to."

"Hey. Shut up." Faith laughed at him, "I can stake you. The chip doesn't stop me hurting vampires. Dawn told me all about it."

Dawn stood in front of Spike, "You wouldn't dare. If you did, I'd kick your ass."

Faith laughed "You? Kick my ass?"

"I don't think she's joking." Spike told her, "Give her a baseball bat and I think she could make a right mess out of you."

"But come on. I could just run away." Faith told them, "Got super endurance."

"Thanks for reminding me." Dawn told her with a grin, "So when I go to kick your ass, I'll bring a gun to shoot you in the foot first. Hey, Spike. What's a really painful weapon that's fun to use?"

"A bullwhip has always been one of my favorites. For the uninitiated in torture, I recommend a cat of nine tails… But you would never need to torture her because she's never going to kill me. Right, my fellow clockwork orange? We're in the same boat here. Birds of a feather."

Faith pouted as she thought about how to answer, "Yeah. You might be fun to kick around a bit. Unless you and Dawn are serious."

Dawn groaned, "Not everything is about sex."

Faith pondered that for a second before answering "Yeah, it is."

"Dawn and I are just friends. I'd wouldn't dream of touching her like that." Spike told Faith, then at Dawn's look he explained, "If we were anything more than friends, Buffy would stake me."

"No she wouldn't." Dawn shook her head.

"I so would! In a heart beat." Buffy yelled without turning towards them.

"Not to mention Willow and her-" Spike mumbled but was stopped by Dawn.

"Don't tell her about that!" Dawn yelled at him.

"You're right. Sorry." He apologized.

Faith looked at the pair oddly, "Why Willow? Is Dawn being groomed to be a lesbian witch too?"

"Can we just stop talking about everyone I'm sleeping with!" Dawn asked.

"I'm just catching up." Faith chuckled.

Buffy clicked her cellphone shut and walked over to Faith.

"Faith." Buffy said.

"Buffy." Faith said, mockingly.

"I'm going to give you this." Buffy said, giving Faith a bundle of twenty dollars, "With this, you should buy clothes, food and anything else you need. You will not provoke Tell or attack him. You will keep your head down and be quiet. You will not make my life a misery. If you keep this up I will pay you weekly, just for breathing air. Got that?"

Faith frowned, "Sure."

"Dawn? I'm going to.. I don't know where. Want to come?" Buffy asked.

Dawn shook her head, "No. I want to stay here and help her move in."

"Fine. Stay here then. I'll pick you up before sundown."

When Buffy left, Faith turned to Dawn.

"So you want to go see a movie?"

Dawn shrugged, "Sure."

Faith grinned, "Cool but I'll have to get you some clothes that make you look older so we can get you into an R-18 rated movie."

Dawn blinked in surprise, "Really?"

Faith nodded happily, "That's right. We'll be breaking the law."

Spike rolled his eyes, "I'm going back to bed. You hooligans have fun."

"But what if they don't have any R-18 movies at the cinema?" Dawn asked.

Faith smirked, "Oh. I know this one place that always shows them. There's this one foreign flick about food. You'll like it?"

Dawn gave her a weird look, "It's about food? Sounds boring. What sort of movie is it?"

Faith smirked wickedly, "I guess you could call it an action."

OXOXOX

Cinema.

Dawn and Faith were sitting next to each other in the darkened room of the cinema. The only light were the advertisements being reflected off the silver screen.

Faith was out of the clothes Buffy gave her and into some leather pants and a dark red top.

Dawn on the other hand was wearing a skimpy black PVC bra and shorts combo with a black fishnet mesh covering her body, under her clothes. Her face was a porcelain mask of white foundation and mascara.

"Was this really necessary?" Dawn asked Faith.

Faith put her arm over her shoulder, "The doorman didn't bat an eyelid, did he?"

"I think he batted a few. Mostly at my ass."

Faith chuckled, "Hey. You've got nice legs. No sense fighting it."

Dawn looked down at her legs, "You think so? They're so chubby."

"Nah. They're great. I wish I had legs as good as yours. Now mine are chubby. Why do you think I always wear pants?"

Dawn smiled sweetly at her, "Thanks. I wish I had.. you know, a chest as big as yours."

Faith couldn't help but smile.

"Guys dig the twins. But they're not everything. With a cute face and a sweet ass like yours you could have any man you want."

Dawn blushed, "Th-thanks."

"It's true as long as you keep dressing like that."

Dawn chuckled, "Thanks for the clothes too."

"Do they make you feel sexy? They should. Oh, here's the movie."

Dawn rested back into her seat, resting against Faith who still had her arm around her shoulder.

"You've seen this before?" Dawn asked.

"Once. Now ssh. The movie."

The screen lit up as Dawn and Faith looked up at it.

On the screen was a busty blond wearing a kitchen uniform complete with a chefs hat and monologing in French with English subtitles.

"Wow. I guess she really wants be a chef pretty passionately." Dawn mumbled to herself.

The scene changed and now there was a French man and woman talking. He was hiring her to work in his specialty kitchen.

Dawn frowned, thinking that something was wrong with this picture but not knowing what.

"Is it like one of Jackie Chan's movies where they work on an elaborate plot for half of the movie and the other half is an insane slugfest where they fight with swordfish?"

Faith gave Dawn a weird look, "Uh. No. Don't worry, There isn't much plot at all. They get into the action pretty soon. Just be patient."

Dawn and Faith looked up at the screen in a cinema that was mostly empty.

"Are you sure this is an action movie?"

'I've seen it before, haven't I?" Faith asked her, "No ssh. You don't want to miss the next scene."

The scene on the screen had changed to a professional stainless steel kitchen where the man was introducing the blonde chef to an equally busty brunette.

The man left them together and apparently they started to argue about who was the better chef. They would settle the duel by outcooking each other.

"Hey." Dawn whispered, "I've got an idea."

"You do?"

"How about after this, we do what they do? I'll cook whatever the blonde makes and you try to cook whatever the snob makes."

Faith let out a yelp of a laugh but quickly stopped herself, "Yeah. Sure. Sounds like my kind of fun."

Dawn continued to watch the movie while Faith watched Dawn.

Dawn's brow furrowed and her head tilted slowly and then suddenly her eyes shot wide open as the two chefs started kissing.

"Wow. So the other chef is the love interest?" Dawn asked, "I thought they were going to be mortal enemies."

Faith chuckled, "She's one of the love interests, yes."

Then the action on screen got a little hotter as they started stripping down.

"Oh god." Dawn gasped and writhed in her seat but Faith held her down gently.

Faith smiled meanly at her, "Yup. That's right. It's a porno."

"Oh my god." Dawn said, putting her hands over her eyes.

"So you're the blonde one, right?" Faith asked, "So you'll be licking whipped cream off me and I'll be doing my thing with a banana. That's the plan, isn't it?"

"I can't believe you took me to a blue movie." Dawn hissed, "I can't believe they show them here."

"Put your hands down." Faith said as she watched the two mewing vixens on screen, "You're missing all the good parts."

Dawn slid her hands down her face and watched the show with a slightly pained look.

Faith smiled at her, "See. It's nothing to be scared of."

"Ewww."

"Don't worry. The guy's coming back soon to catch them in the act. He goes all French like oh-la-la and stuff while they suck him off. It's classic."

"Ewww."

"But if you ever think about doing that thing with the banana to me, I'll find a way to get back at you."

"Ewww."

"And if you start feeling tense, don't be afraid to stroke your stress ball."

"Huh?"

Faith patted her own crotch a few times to show what she met.

"Ewww."

"Or if that doesn't float your boat, you can stroke mine. I won't mind."

"Ewww."

OXOXOX

Magic box.

The magic box was empty except for Anya, Harmony and Giles.

Giles was reading the nimrodim appendix, as he had been spending most of his waking time doing.

A frantic look shot across his features and he looked down at his notes then back at the appendix. He flipped a few pages back, skimmed through a page and said "Oh dear."

"What is it now?" Anya asked.

"I'm an idiot."

"Oh. Is that all?" Anya said with relief, "I thought you were going to say that there's going to be an apocalypse. You know how I hate those things."

Giles looked up from the book and gave her a worried look for a second then looked back at the book.

"Uh. There isn't going to be an apocalypse, is there?" Harmony asked, "I kinda died in the last one."

"I uh.. I need to read. It is very important that I read." Giles said, sounding a bit crazy.

"Giles?" Anya asked, a bit more concerned this time, "Is everything okay?"

Giles didn't reply at first and then he said "Why don't you just go to that party and be sure to bring Buffy and Faith back here?"

Anya looked at the clock, "Yeah. Okay. I will when it's time."

"It's still daylight." Harmony said as if Giles couldn't tell that for himself.

Giles nodded, "I meant that when you go to the party, just be sure to bring Buffy and Faith back here. It's very important. Also, have Tara bring that scythe of hers in."

Harmony and Anya shared a concerned look but it was short lived, neither having the patience for such emotions.

"Sure." Anya chirped, "We'll do that."

OXOXOX

Continued in next chapter.


	2. Sultry yet sweet

OXOXOX

Dorm party, after the sun had gone down.

There's decorations, drinks and the room is full of people partying, some more than others.

Xander, Harmony and Anya were talking on one side of the room while Buffy, Willow and Tara were on the other side. However, there didn't appear to be any division between them except the obvious distance.

"Why don't you just hire someone who can't be turned into a vampire? Like, I don't know, ME?" Harmony asked with a hopeful smile.

Xander raised an eyebrow, "You?"

"Yeah. I'm good with paper and pens and I can use a phone. I'd be great."

"I thought you worked at the magic box?" Xander asked, looking to Anya as if asking for help.

Harmony shook her head, "I try to help out but Anya is so much better at economics. She's a whiz, honestly. And also, I feel that I'm starting to make Giles feel claustrophobic and I'm making myself seem needy so I need some independence in my life. What better way than getting a job which doesn't revolve around Giles?"

Xander still didn't seem convinced, so Harmony went on.

"Plus, I'll be the best secretary ever. I'm a vampire so I can smell danger. So if someone comes in that's not human I can tell you."

"Okay." Xander gave in.

"Okay? Okay. Okay!"

"On one condition."

Harmony frowned, "What?"

"You have to stop smoking."

"Huh?"

"It's not that I have anything about you smoking. You just look stupid doing it."

"I do? But smoking is cool."

"Not when you do it. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Uh, forget I said that. Just take my word for it. It doesn't suit you. If you want something to fill your mouth with then try some mints. They're low fat."

"And they freshen your breath." Anya added.

"Oh-kay." Harmony said sullenly.

"You'll be great." Anya said supportively, "I'm sure you have a very good phone presence."

Harmony smiled and frowned at the same time in a fit of ambivalence then she hugged Anya, "Thank you. I'll miss working at the magic box with you."

"Me too." Anya said truthfully as she hugged her back, "And I will enjoy continuing our friendship outside of work too."

Xander stood back a little from their conversation, always a little disturbed at how Anya and Harmony related to each other so easily.

On the other side of the room Buffy, Willow and Tara were talking about on an unrelated work situation.

"We drove out of town to get out of the Hellmouth's area of effect." Tara explained, "But the spells still didn't work."

"It's something to do with power." Willow told Buffy, "Either we're not picking up enough power or we're picking up more than we can handle. It seems that whenever we go near a major city, the spell goes haywire."

"But it wasn't a total loss." Tara said quickly, "The location Willow chose for the casting was beautiful. There was even a waterfall. It was very romantic."

Willow and Tara suddenly went very quiet there.

Buffy sighed, "It's okay guys. You can still talk about romance around the crazy single woman."

"You're not crazy." Tara told her.

"Yeah." Willow agreed.

There was some more silence which confused Buffy.

"Okay. What is it?" she asked.

"N-nothing." Tara said.

There was another pregnant pause.

"Maybe you two should go have a dance." Buffy suggested.

"Yes please." Willow said and the witches jumped on the chance to leave the conversation.

Buffy watched them go, frowning, "Well, that was weird."

"Isn't this a great party?" some guy quickly asked Buffy as he poured himself a cup of punch, "I heard someone spiked the punch."

Buffy looked him over. He looked nice enough but there was something a little off about him.

"Hey. My name's Ben, what's yours? Want to dance? I should give you my phone number now before you forget to ask for it. Hey, they've got chips over there."

Buffy blinked in confusion as the weirdo went and raided the food table.

"There's something really wrong with that man." said Tell, making Buffy jump in surprise.

When Buffy looked at him, she saw Tell standing there with a plastic cup, quite possibly with punch in it.

"Tell! I didn't think you'd come to this sort of party."

"Normally I wouldn't. I'm keeping an eye on Faith like you told me to." Tell explained, taking a sip of the punch in his hands.

Buffy groaned as she got that sinking feeling and turned around to find Faith standing there with her arm draped over Spikes shoulder.

"Hey B." Faith said cheerfully, obviously drunk, "You're looking hot. You have to tell me where you got that top from."

"Oh yeah. That's really great, Buffy. Let's just introduce the bad guys to each other." Buffy told herself, "Are you sure you should be partying, Faith? You just came out of a coma."

"I've slept more than enough." Faith laughed, "Tell, you're going to make that last all night aren't you? Scull it man."

Tell ignored her.

"B, how did you find the most boring room mate on earth for me?" Faith asked, hanging off Buffy now that Spike had walked off somewhere.

Buffy chuckled, "I don't know what you mean."

"Seriously. That guy doesn't do anything except sharpen his weapons and meditate. Spike told me all about him."

Buffy raised an eyebrow at Tell, "You meditate?"

Tell turned around and looked at her, apparently not hearing what she asked.

"Heh." Faith chuckled, "Sharpening his weapon. Heh."

"Is there a reason you're here?" Buffy asked her, "Besides the free booze."

Faith looked hurt, "I came to see my friends. Chit chat. This is fun. Aren't you having fun?"

"Alright. Lets chit chat. So what have you been up to since I last saw you upright?" Buffy asked.

"Same old same old. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Starred in a porn flick which wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. Been busy keeping one step ahead of the watchers. Tried slaying again for a while but seems I've lost the knack for it. You?"

At first Buffy wasn't sure what to say so she just shrugged and said "Same old, same old."

"Hey, those are new." Faith commented.

Buffy looked at her oddly, "What are?"

"On your arm. What did that? Food disposal unit?"

Buffy frowned, remembering the night when she almost got eaten and Riley saved her then left her.

"A blob." Buffy told her.

Faith gave her a skeptical look, "Come on. The blob eats it's victim with acid. Everyone knows that."

Buffy sighed "This one had teeth."

"Either way, they're a keeper." Faith said, talking about the scars.

The music stopped and Willow and Tara walked back to the

"Hey Red. Hey Honey." Faith said in a sloppy greeting.

Willow looked a little uncertain, "A lot of my nightmares start out like this."

"Relax." Faith drawled as she looked Tara up and down, "Look at you, would you? So .. green. Nice dress. You'd never see me wearing it but you make it work. Look like a princess."

"You're drunk." Willow said, almost a question.

"She's drunk." Buffy confirmed.

"No I'm not. I can still drive." Faith muttered glibly.

"She's a lot easier to get along with when she's drunk." Buffy noted.

"Get along." Faith mumbled as she clumsily hugged Buffy from the side, "Lessgo dance like we used to."

"Wow. She's really drunk." Willow noted as Buffy shifted her weight and Faith stumbled into Tell.

"Hey cutey." Faith whispered huskily, "You man enough for me?"

Tell sighed and pushed her back so she was leaning on the table instead of him.

"It's times like this I wish I could get drunk." Tell said flatly, obviously not enjoying himself.

"You can't get drunk?" Tara asked in surprise.

"Oh, I can but it's not pretty." Tell told her.

Seeming to crave attention, Faith went back to draping herself on Buffy, "Hey. You again."

Buffy squinted at her, "Tell me again. Why did you choose to fall unconscious on my doorstep?"

"I uh, don't remember." Faith said, frowning, "I'lb .. over there."

With that, Faith plodded off to somewhere else.

"She doesn't seem that evil." Tara mentioned to Willow, "Just sad."

Willow nodded, "That's part of her charm. Making you feel sorry for her while she stabs you in the back."

"After Buffy picked up Dawn, she started hitting the bottle with a vengeance." Spike told them as he picked at some chips he had stashed in a plastic cup, "But then, what can you expect when you destroy someone's identity?"

"I didn't destroy her identity." Buffy told him then rethought it, "Okay. Maybe I did. But in a good way."

"There's a good way?" Spike scoffed at her, scoffing some chips as he did.

"I've got to have a firm hand with the irredeemable." Buffy told him, prodding him firmly in the chest.

Spike chuckled, "Aww. Have you missed me, Slayer?"

Buffy shook her head, "Nope. Tell's been taking the slack in the non-slayer slaying department."

Spike looked sourly at Tell who was smiling, "I'm sure he has."

"Whoaoho! Lemmego bitch." Faith yelled as a girl across the room lifted Faith up and held her above her head.

"You should not lie to me!" The girl said angrily and threw Faith through a window.

"Bloody hell. What's that girl done now?" Spike exclaimed as the Scoobies moved to check on Faith's status.

Outside, Faith was getting up and laughing, "I like you. Do it again. There's another window over there."

"You shouldn't say such things about my Warren." The girl said curtly and turned around, "No one is allowed to touch me except my boyfriend."

As she moved to leave, Tell stood in front of her.

"I think we should talk."

"Do you know where Warren is?"

Tell looked at Buffy who looked just as confused as he did.

Tell kept looking at Buffy but spoke to the robot, "No but I think we could help you find him more effectively. If you follow us then we can formulate a more efficient means of tracking Warren down for you."

"Yes. We have .. technology." Buffy said, wincing at her own acting skills.

"You would help me?" the girl asked hopefully, "I would appreciate that a lot."

"Yes. We will. My name is Tell, what's yours?"

"April."

"Let's take her up to our room." Willow volunteered, "We can use my computer to search for a Warren in the area."

"Okay." April said brightly.

"Whoa-wha-wait for me!" Faith said, stumbling through the empty window.

OXOXOX

"Do you know Warren's last name?" Willow asked as the combined Scoobies were hovering around her and her laptop.

" Warren has not finished the registration process yet."

"Can you get porn on that thing?" Faith tittered.

"Faith. Get off me." Xander said as he shoved her off him and back to Spike who didn't seem too worried about having a Slayer all over him.

Buffy looked at April, "I know this might be a little out there but I think she's.."

"A robot." Tara said quickly.

"Yeah. Definitely a robot." Xander agreed.

"I'm not a robot." April said, pouting.

"Maybe she's just hypnotized.. or autistic." Tell said, looking closer at April, "No. You're right. She's a robot."

"I'm not a robot." April said, repeating herself almost exactly.

"State your purpose." Xander told her, "Name, rank and serial number."

"I am Warren's girlfriend. He is a very good boyfriend." April replied earnestly.

Buffy shook her head in disgust, "That is so gross. Some guy building a robot to be their girlfriend."

"I'm sure a lot of guys have thought about it." Xander said then found him under the gaze of quite a few of his female friends, including his girlfriend, "Not that I would ever build a girlfriend. That's just wrong."

"Look at the detail." Tell said as took a closer look at April's face, "That's real craftsmanship. Someone put a lot of love into it's design."

This got a few chuckles from Faith.

"She's sultry yet innocent at the same time." Tell said as he studied the bot.

"Like me?" Buffy asked.

Tell appraised Buffy, "You're sweet but sultry doesn't quite fit."

"I can be sultry." Buffy pouted

Faith chuckled, "I've seen you with kohl. Doesn't help."

"Only you could piss off a robot." Buffy smirked at Faith, "How'd you do that anyway?"

Faith shrugged, "It's a gift."

"Ooh! I think I've found him. Warren Mears." Willow said from the computer, "Does your Warren look like this?"

April tiptoed to look over Willows shoulder then said "Yes. That's him. Now that we have his photo we can tape posters to walls like those people who were looking for their dog. Was that your plan?"

"Uh. No. We've got an address." Willow told her, "I thought that maybe we could walk you there to make sure you get there safely without the need to throw tramps through windows."

"Okay. Let's go now." April said, happily.

Buffy looked at the monitor, read the address and said "I'll take her. You guys move along to the Scooby meeting. Just tell Giles I'll be a bit late."

"Need some company?" Spike asked her as she walked out the door.

"No thanks. I've got April." Buffy said, poking her tongue at him.

"Goodbye." April waved, "You've all been very nice to me. Thank you."

"She was nice. Don't you think?" Xander asked Anya.

Anya shrugged, "Congeniality is important skill in the service industry which she would be a part of."

"I wouldn't call doing what she does part of the service industry." Tell said to her.

"I think Twist would think differently." Anya said with a smirk.

"Who's Twist?" Spike asked.

"Tell's twin." Anya said with a smile, "He's a prostitute. A very good prostitute."

Tell groaned and covered his face with his hands as he did.

"I thought Buffy was joking about that." Spike admitted, "Is he in Sunnydale too?"

"No." Tell said quickly, "He lives in Transylvania."

Xander burst out laughing, " Transylvania? Really? Does he know Dracula? Because that guy was here a while back."

Tell looked at Xander weirdly, "Dracula doesn't live in Transylvania. He lives in Bucharest. Transylvania gets too much tourism from goths and vampire hunters for his liking."

"Everyone knows that." Spike scoffed.

Tell glared back at Spike for a second then looked around the room then asked "Hey, where's Faith gone?"

OXOXOX

"Look at those legs. I wish I had legs like that." Faith said as she looked at the bot from behind, "I wish Buffy had legs like that."

Buffy groaned, "Faith, can you just stop talking for a few minutes."

Faith ignored her, "So what's the real story with demon boy?"

"He's just a friend. No story."

"Do you like him?" Faith asked.

"Not like that. He is very cute but.."

"But nothing. If you like him you should go for it." Faith told Buffy, slapping her on the ass and then falling over in agony.

"Faith!" Buffy yelled then leant over to pick Faith up, "I can't believe you did that."

Faith looked back at her with unfocused over eyes, "Ouchie."

"We should keep walking." April told them, " Warren must be very worried about me now."

"Are you going to be okay?" Buffy asked Faith.

"Do you care?" Faith asked, her face empty of emotion.

Without answering, Buffy decided that Faith was okay and kept pace with April.

Faith sighed and followed them.

After a minute or more of walking, Buffy said "It should be somewhere here."

"What number is it again?" Faith asked.

"Here it is." Buffy said and turned into a driveway.

The two girls and the fake girl walked up to the door and April knocked on it, having had a lot of practice in the maneuver.

After a short time the door opened and they were confronted by another girl.

"Uh, hello." She said as if she wasn't expecting them.

"Uh, hi. We're looking for Warren. Does he live here?" Buffy asked politely.

"Yeah. He does."

"Is he in?" April asked.

The girl turned around and yelled " Warren. There's some girls here looking for you. You better have a damned good reason for it."

"Hello. I am April." The bot introduced herself, "And this is Buffy and Faith. Who are you?"

'I'm Katrina." Said the girl, a bit distracted, " Warren's girlfriend."

"Let me get my pants on. I'll be there soon." yelled a voice from somewhere else in the house.

"You are not Warren's girlfriend." April said angrily, "I am his girlfriend."

" Warren. There's a crazy girl here who thinks you're her boyfriend… Warren?"

"This should be interesting." Faith said to Buffy who glared back at her.

Turning back to April, Katrina said "Look, girl. I don't know what sort of sick stalker game you're playing but obviously you're too-urk!"

Katrina was cut off when April punched her in the gut, knocking her back.

"You should not lie." April growled in a strangely sweet way as she walked into the room.

"April. You shouldn't hit people." Buffy said as if to a child and she received a backhand to the face for her efforts which knocked her to the ground.

"April!" Warren said, catching the robots attention, "Stop!"

" Warren." April replied, staring at him in awe as if he was her god, "Where have you been? I could not find you. I was very worried."

Katrina got up, holding her gut where she was punched, "What the hell is going on, Warren?"

"She lied to me." April said, turning angry again, 'She made me angry."

"She's a robot. Isn't she?" Buffy asked and Warren nodded.

"She's a sex machine. Isn't she?" Faith asked, "And why won't it let me have a go?"

"She's your ex-girlfriend?" Katrina asked, "A robot?"

"She wasn't just for sex." Warren said quickly.

"That's it. I'm out of here." Katrina moved to leave but was caught around the neck by April.

"April, no!" Warren yelled, "Put her down."

"She's lying. She says she's your girlfriend." April said, glaring at Katrina while Buffy tried to pry her hands open to no avail.

"She's not my girlfriend." Warren told April then looked to Buffy, "She is."

"Oh, yeah. Great idea." Buffy said flatly.

Katrina dropped Katrina, who fell to the ground like a rag doll then slammed into Buffy with a two handed strike that clipped Buffy on the chin and threw her into the closest wall.

"Shit!" Faith yelled and tackled the robot.

"No. You can not touch me like that." April said and tossed Faith into a different wall.

"How do you turn it off?" Faith asked Warren from where she was on all fours.

"I don't know! It shouldn't still be working. It's batteries should have run out days ago." Warren yelled back.

April wasn't taking part in this conversation and kicked Faith in the gut so hard that Faith was knocked up into the air and through a pair of windows.

She rolled along the grass for a bit then groaned as she forced herself to her feet again.

"What is it about that girl and windows?" Faith mumbled.

Warren and Katrina ran by her, away from the crazed robot. Katrina was running and screaming at Warren as she went. But Faith wasn't watching them. Instead, she was watching the robot pick up a barely conscious Buffy by the neck.

"No!" Faith yelled, not getting the robots attention.

Taking in a deep breath, Faith yelled out again, "She's not Warren's boyfriend. I am."

Upon hearing this, the robot dropped Buffy and stalked out to the front Lawn where Faith was.

"You should stop lying." April said angrily.

Faith sighed, "Why on earth did I do that?"

April moved up to Faith and swung at her with a fist which Faith caught and pulled on. They both struggled and they both soon were stumbling along the lawn as they tried to get an advantage over the other.

Faith fell backwards as they were struggling and spun around at the last moment to impale April on the white wicket fence.

Faith stared at April for a second then April threw her off.

Getting up, apparently unhurt, April stalked towards her again.

"You damaged me. You took my man. I am going to crush you!"

Faith gulped, "April. We can share him. What do you say? You take weekdays and I take weekends?"

April stopped and stared at Faith.

Faith stared back, "Okay. So you'll listen to reason. Good. Hey, I've got an idea. Since we're going to have an open relationship, we can share each other too, right?"

Looking scared, April fell to her knees, " Warren. I need your help."

Apparently having lost all motor control, April slumped over onto her side, facing Faith on the grass.

"Oh. I guess you're dying now." Faith said quietly.

" Warren can fix me." April replied, "Would you find Warren for me? Would you bring him to me?"

"I don't think Warren wants to see you again."

"What did I do wrong? I did everything I was supposed to. I was a good girlfriend." April pleaded.

"You were the best." Faith said as she wiped some tears away from her eyes.

"Then why did he not want me? Was I being too forward? Like you said I was being at the party? Am I too strong? Do I need to lure him by showing him that I'm willing to experiment?"

"No. You're sexy enough."

"Then why?"

Faith tenderly rested a hand on the robots cheek, "Sometimes.. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you'll never be what someone wants. You can't change what you are."

"You are a nice person." April said as her voice became stretched out like a tape machine breaking down, "You are sultry but sweet. You are nice when you tell the truthhhhh"

"What happened?" said a perplexed Buffy who was holding her head in the doorway, "Is it dead?"

Faith quickly got up, "Yeah. I think so."

Faith tapped the robot's head with her foot and got no response.

"You killed it?" Buffy asked.

"Uh yeah. After it knocked you out, Warren said that I was his girlfriend and it started attacking me instead. Then he ran off."

Buffy sighed, "Fine. Whatever. We've got places we have to be."

With that, she picked out her almost indestructible cellphone from her back pocket and flipped it open.

"Hey, Tell. I don't suppose you could pick up two invalid slayers? You can. Great."

OXOXOX

Back at the magic box the Scoobies had assembled.

Buffy was holding a pair of icepacks on her head while lying down on the big round table. Faith had her shirt off while while Willow was pulling out glass from her back. Luckily Faith chose to wear a bra today.

"Buffy got knocked out by robot girl." Faith told the room.

"I was just stunned." Buffy argued, "I wasn't expecting an uppercut from pink dress girl."

"You were out for a whole minute. That's a K.O in – Ah bitch!" Faith grunted as Willow pulled out a glass splinter.

Willow hemmed and Faith said "Not you."

Willow went back to work and pulled out another sliver.

"Ahh!" Faith yelled, "Yup. You're the bitch that time. How the hell can you make this so painful?"

Willow looked at her innocently, "I don't know what you mean.'

"Finish up." Faith said angrily.

" Warren should have told it that he was gay." Buffy said from the table.

"Then it would've just tried to kill every man in existence." Xander theorized, "Probably including God too."

"Or.. upgraded." Buffy said with a shiver.

Xander looked at her oddly then winced, "Now that's a scary visual place."

"This is what happens when you use opensource." Willow told them then got another yelp from Faith, "Aww, all finished."

"Finally." Faith said, moving to get her shirt.

"But we haven't used the iodine yet." Willow scolded her, "You don't want to get an infection."

Faith looked at her in horror then put the shirt on, "Screw that shit."

"Who got Faith drunk?" Giles looked up from his notes long enough to ask.

"I did!" Faith said proudly.

Giles sighed, "In the future can you not get sloshed before a meeting?"

"Why?" Faith asked, "It's not like you need my help with the books."

"Actually we do." Giles told her, showing her the nimrodim appendix, the book that she stole off her captors, "Do you remember THIS book?"

Faith nodded slowly, "I just took one look at it and knew it would give you a hard on. So, did it work?"

Giles gave her a tired look, "Could you please tell us where you got it from?"

"Last thing I remember doing was getting busy on Angelus and them blam, I'm stuck in a basement." Faith told him, "No. That's not right. I was.. There was a party. I got.. Wow. I got really wasted. Someone must've slipped something into my drinks because I don't remember popping any pills. Though my memory of that night isn't that clear so I can't be sure."

"Do you remember who you stole the book off?" Buffy asked.

"Some old guy." Faith said, "He was a dressing gown which I thought was strange."

"A dressing gown?" Buffy asked, unimpressed with the information she was getting.

"That sounds like Doc." Spike told them, "Old and wears a dressing Gown. That's Doc."

Buffy frowned, "So you don't have any new information for us at all?"

Faith thought about and shrugged, "Fraid not."

"Great." Buffy sighed then whipped her head up, "Oh! That's right. I almost forgot. When we were at Xander's office and the vampire was about to spill her evil plan, Faith threw them into the sunlight."

"Hey. I said sorry." Faith yelled.

"But not nearly enough." Buffy grinned at her, "But one of the few things she did say before she took a leap of Faith out the window was something about the seeker of Azaroth, as in singular."

"Are you sure?" Giles asked.

Buffy nodded and Faith asked, "Who's the seeker of Azaroth?"

"The seekers, as in plural, of Azaroth are the guys who wanted to experiment on you until they get this thing called the word of Azaroth." Buffy explained, "It's reckoned that the word of Azaroth is where the slayers get their powers from. If they get it, not only will there be no more slayers, there will be a super powered bad guy too."

"Oh. So that's what you were talking about before." Faith said, nodding in understanding, "Nah. Still don't get it. Tell me later when I'm sober."

Buffy shrugged and turned to Willow, "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Willow said, looking a little anxious not to talk as Buffy led her away into a corner of the room.

"What is this about?" Willow asked.

"Why don't you tell me?" Buffy asked her back.

Willow shook her head, "There's nothing going on. Completely nothing."

"Then why have you been avoiding me? Why.. Why are you suddenly so scared of me?"

"I'm not scared of you. It's nothing." Willow said dismissively.

"Obviously it is. So spill. Now."

"It's.." Willow said, having trouble putting her thoughts into words that she could say, "It's your.."

"My what?"

"Your .. new status." Willow whispered.

Buffy looked at her oddly, "Because I'm single?"

"N-no." Willow stuttered which made Buffy look at her even more oddly.

"Then what?"

"The um.. Gay part."

Buffy squinted her eyes at Willow, "You think I'm gay?"

Willow nodded.

"You think I'm gay?" Buffy asked then turned around to the room, "Okay. People. I am NOT GAY! Totally not gay. I am straight. I like men. Big strong men. With muscles."

Then Buffy looked at Willow, oddly again, "And why would YOU have a problem if I was gay? You're gay."

Willow's guilty look said everything to Buffy.

"Oh." Buffy gasped, "You mean.. you think we could be gay together.. oh. Oh god, Will."

"But I wouldn't." Willow said quickly, "You're my friend."

"And you're my friend." Buffy replied just as quickly, "So no .. Okay. I think I need to sit down."

"Buffy's gay?" Faith laughed out loud, "I didn't know."

"Isn't it obvious?" Spike asked her.

"I am not gay!" Buffy yelled at them, "It was stupid Riley who said I was gay and for some reason people started believing it."

Faith laughed at Buffy, "Did he catch you with a girl or something?"

Buffy gasped, appalled at Faith, "No! I don't know why he'd think that. I never gave him any reason to."

"Maybe you just suck in bed." Faith offered.

"No. That's not it." Buffy said emphatically, "And I am not giving any details. So don't go there."

"There was this one time." Anya said, giving details, "Where the sexual energies released from Buffy and Riley's lovemaking empowered a whole squadron of poltergeists. From an outsiders prospective, I don't think she would be that bad."

"Thanks." Buffy said to Anya, not quite comfortable with the compliment.

Faith looked at Buffy oddly, "And I thought you wouldn't be able to top the whole soul stealing act. You're just full of surprises."

"Here." Tara said, giving Faith a necklace with a largish milky crystal in the middle with two pinkish crystals on the side, "We found this for you to wear."

Faith took it and looked at it skeptically.

"You've already made it so I can't hurt people so what does this do? Make me keep in my farts?"

"N-no." Tara stuttered, obviously a little bit intimidated by Faith, "It will help purge your b-body of the dark energies."

"Dark energies? What dark energies?" Faith asked, "If you're talking about my slayer powers you can have it back."

"N-no." Tara said, shaking her head while Willow explained "When we found you unconscious at Buffy's we checked you out, magically. You were filled with some really bad magics that your slayer powers were trying their best to fight off. We put some simple cleansing crystals around your bed to help rid your body of the magics but since you're walking around now we'll need some other arrangement. We think it's a result of the seekers trying to pry the word of Azaroth out of you."

Faith looked at the necklace again and asked "So I have to wear this thing all the time?"

"It will help." Tara said quietly.

"Fine." Faith said, putting it on, "So how do you know I'm not already cleansed?"

"We could check you again." Willow suggested, looking to Tara for agreement but found her frowning, "Tare, what is it?"

"I'm getting a pull from the scythe again." Tara said quietly.

"You're what?" Faith asked.

Tara held Willow's hand for support and then turned to Giles, "Giles. Th-there's s-something I need to tell you."

Giles looked up from his jelly filled donut, "There is?"

"I,uh, I mean before.. A while back.." Tara stumbled over her sentences so Willow blurted out for her " Tara thinks the Scythe might be controlling her."

Giles looked shocked, along with most of the room.

"You're being controlled?" Giles asked, looking at Tara as if looking for an infection.

"Not right now." Tara told him, "Just.. I think it's trying to influence my actions."

"How so?" Giles asked, clearly concerned.

"Just little things." Tara replied, "Like punching my father. Carrying it around so much that it seems like second nature. Sometimes I do things but when I look back on them, I realize that the idea didn't come from me. Like right then, it asked me to pick it up."

"Like with a voice inside your head?" Xander asked.

Tara shook her head, "No. It's a lot more subconscious."

"Do you feel completely compelled to obey it's commands?" Giles asked.

Tara shook her head, "No. I don't. I can tell the difference between my own thoughts and when it's asking me to do something because it's.. very aggressive and I'm not so much."

"What's it asking you to do?" Willow asked her.

"Pick it up." Tara shrugged, "And do something with it. I don't know what. The message isn't very clear."

"Pick it up then." Giles told her, "Carefully."

"Okay." Tara said then took the Scythe out from the cloth it had been wrapped in.

Then everyone waited for something to happen.

"Wow. That is so cool." Faith said in amazement, "It's even got a stake. Where can I get one?"

Tara frowned, "I really thought it was going to do something."

Everyone relaxed and Tara placed the scythe on the table.

"It showed me the mage in park. It showed me the spell he was using." Tara told the scoobies,

"That's remote viewing." Anya said, quietly impressed, "That's a handy trick."

"It also allowed me to hear the radio inside my head." Tara added.

"Really?" Buffy asked, "Would that be called remote hearing?"

"Or would it be called radio head?" Xander asked and at several peoples look he said "And you weren't thinking it?"

"I don't like this." Spike said as he stood next to Tell and Anya, "A sharp bladed weapon messing around with someone's head? It doesn't sound safe."

"Yeah." Anya said, next to Spike "You've got to wonder what sort of thought processes an axe would have. Mortal wounding, decapitation and deforestation spring to mind."

"And I don't have to mention the wooden stake." Spike mentioned, "That makes me a little anxious.'

"Maybe you should put it away." Harmony told Tara.

Tara nodded and took the scythe off the table and gasped and frozed suddenly.

"Whoa." She said slowly as she looked around, "Whoa!"

"What is it?" Willow asked as she moved back a little bit, prompting Faith to stand back too.

Tara looked across the room and said "This is amazing. It's showing me your aura. That's what the scythe wanted me to.. Hey!"

She was looking at Tell when she said it.

"Hey! Stop that!" Tara yelled at him, "What are you doing?"

"Uh." Tell looked at her confused, "What do you mean?"

"Why are you feeding off Spike?" Tara yelled as she got up, Scythe in both hands and ready to strike.

"I'm not." Tell told her, standing a bit further away from Spike who was giving him a wary look, "No really I'm not. This is just some sort of misunderstanding."

"You've been feeding off SPIKE?" Buffy laughed, "Oh man. That's disgusting but strangely poetic."

"I'm not really." Tell told the onlookers, " Tara. Just relax. I'll show you something. You watching?"

Tara nodded but kept alert for any tricks.

Tell looked around then asked Giles, "Can you throw me that apple?"

Giles looked at the apple resting on his desk and tossed it to Tell.

"You're eating it's aura." Tara told him, "Why?"

"I'm really. Not in the way you think at least." Tell told her, "If you think of the apple as a lightbulb, I'm just absorbing the light, not the lightsource. That a look."

Tell threw the apple to Tara gently who caught it and looked at it curiously.

"So you've been feeding off all of us?" Buffy asked him, "All this time?"

Tell rolled his eyes, "It's not like I'm a vampire who's taking something you need to live. I'm more like athletes foot. No, wait.. a plant."

'You make fruit?" Xander asked, "Or do you grow flowers?"

Tell sighed, "Okay. There isn't really anything to compare to it in nature."

"Am I the only one a little freaked out by this?" Xander asked.

"Not in the slightest." Buffy said, falling along side next to him.

"Maybe it would be best if you left." Giles told him, "I'm sure we will be able to get used to the idea eventually."

Tell considered this, "Very well."

Then he left, people moving well out of his way as he did so.

After the door closed behind him, Tara was still looking at the apple, confused.

"That's weird." Buffy said out loud, "He's a demon that eats auras."

"You mean besides the other weird stuff?" Faith asked her.

"Like what?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Like how he brought himself a big-ass mansion but doesn't have any food in it or any beds. In his room the only thing he has are weapons and clothes and all of them fit in the walk-in wardrobe. There's no toilet paper either."

"He doesn't have a bed?" Buffy asked, "So what does he sleep on?"

"He doesn't sleep." Spike told her, "I've been watching him."

"A guy who can stay up all night. Normally I'd be impressed." Faith chuckled, "But it also means that I'll be borrowing Spike's beanbags tonight."

"And they'll come back smelling of slayer musk. You can never get that smell out." Spike complained.

"You love it." Faith smirked at him.

"All I've seen him do all day is sharpen his weapons and meditate." Spike said, pointed more at Buffy than anyone else.

"Meditate?" Xander asked, "Like Zen Buddhist meditate?"

Spike nodded grimly, "He sits in a lotus position and.. I don't know what he's doing but I don't trust it."

"Maybe he's Buddhist." Anya offered.

Spike sighed, "Looks like a human, act's like a human, might even taste like a human but it's not a human. You guys keep forgetting that."

When they heard Tell start up his car outside and start to drive off Giles said "Finally I've found a way to get rid of him."

"Giles?" Buffy asked, squinting at him.

"There's something I wanted to tell you all." Giles said, looking back to the street, "Something I don't think he wants us to know."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked.

"I've found out what Tell truly is." Giles said to the group as he got up and straightened up a white board on display, ready to show a diagram.

"I've got a sinking feeling here." Buffy said grimly.

"Right there with you." Xander told her, "When was the last time Giles used a white board?"

"When the gentlemen came to town and stole everyone's voices." Willow told them, "Uh. Giles. Tell isn't here to steal anyone's heart, are they?"

Giles looked up from his notes for a second, "Uh. Maybe. I'm not completely sure."

"That's not helping." Buffy told him.

"I guess it's not." Giles said, "Now, let's get down to business."

"Do I have to be here?" Faith asked.

"Yes." Giles told her, "You should stay and listen because this affects you too."

"Fine." Faith conceded and slumped back into her chair.

Giles closed the nimrodim appendix and held it in his hands, "Over the last few days I've finished deciphering a good portion of his book. Not just about what Tell is but several other things such as the Slayers and the Scythe which seems to have some sort of affinity to Tara."

"Oh. Good." Buffy said, "Are you sure we shouldn't talk about this in private?"

Giles nodded, "I believe it would save a lot of time if I just explained everything now."

"Okay then. Go on." Buffy said as she sat down in a chair.

"Firstly, I would like to apologize." Giles told the group, "I greatly misunderstood the nature of this book."

"So it's not that useful?" Buffy asked.

"No. It is invaluable but it was written by someone evil. As I read it, I wasn't taking into account the viewpoint of the author. When he writes that something is good for him, it could mean bad for us. If I realized this I may have never asked Buffy and Willow to investigate Tell."

"He's evil!" Spike laughed then acted disappointed, "I mean, that's bad. We have to kill him now."

Giles groaned, "I'm not sure if he's evil. Just let me finish."

"He's not evil." Buffy told them, "He's so into fighting evil that he can't be. It's his calling in life."

Giles hemmed for attention and he got it, "Thank you."

"Now I'm sure you've we've all heard the speech about how the world is older than any of you know?" Giles asked, getting a few groans, "Well here's a slightly variation that you might not have heard."

"For untold eons, demons ruled the earth. Not just this earth but in other dimensions too. In time, they lost their purchase on this world and the way was paved for mortal man. How they lost their purchase is perhaps the most interesting part the book talks about."

"Slayers?" Faith guessed.

"No. I'm afraid not." Giles said shaking his head, "The struggles of those days were called the chaos wars. An apt description. There are very few records of that time and even few survivors. However, the author of this book lived through it and he writes references to it in several parts. Most interesting was how the chaos wars ended and the new world that followed. One thing I can tell you, Faith. At that time, there were no slayers."

"There weren't?" she asked, confused, "So what kicked the demons out then?"

"Various things." Giles said as if he didn't quite know, "From what I gather, they were entities with godlike powers. What are commonly known as the powers that be."

Buffy held up a hand.

"Yes. You in the front row." Giles said with a sigh.

"If the powers that be could've kicked most of the demons out, why didn't they finish the job?" Buffy asked, "And how come they've got us doing their dirty work for them?"

"That's a damn good question." Faith admitted.

"Apparently some sort of agreement was made between the powers and the underbeings, uh, the evil powers that be."

"That makes no sense." Buffy told him.

"Actually it does if the evil powers that be were any sort of match for the good guys." Xander told her, "Think about it like Russia versus America. Russia can't kill America without getting itself nuked and America can't kill Russia without getting itself nuked either. So the only sane course of action would be a non-aggression pact."

"But the bad guys are still here, trying to destroy the world." Buffy yelled at him.

"But they're usually not true demons." Anya told her, "I'm guessing the evil powers that be would all be very big and very hard to kill. Sort of like the mayor would have been if we hadn't.."

"Killed him." Faith said sourly, "You can say it."

"Right." Anya continued, "And we still don't know what sort of powers the mayor would have gotten if he had gotten all powered up by eating the graduating class."

"Powers?" Buffy asked, "You mean that being a giant snake demon isn't enough?"

"Godzilla was big." Xander told her, "But he had powers like dragon breath and laser eyes too."

"Can we keep on topic here?" Giles asked, "Otherwise we will be here all night. We have quite a lot to go through."

Everyone turned back to Giles and let him continue.

"One of the powers that the book considers to be the most powerful of them all, it changed sides to become evil. For the sake of simplicity, I call it the great evil. But it had it's power taken away from it and it became impotent. It would seem to be the entity that is calling itself the first evil that is just conjecture."

Giles wrote "GREAT EVIL" on the white board at the top.

"Now the great evil, the book goes on about their power and their intellect and how great they were. It's quite rambling, really. Many of the powers that be, they created their own champions to help protect mankind and help push back the forces of darkness. When the great evil was still good, he created a champion, the greatest champion. A paragon for everything great about humanity. He only created one though because it's power was so great that it scared the other powers. However, if his champion died then the power that champion had would pass on to someone else."

"You're talking about Slayers?" Faith asked, confused.

"No. I'm talking about the predecessors to the Slayer line. These great champions weren't girls, they were all men. From our recent talks with the watcher Michael Armitage, it would seem that Azaroth was one of these proto-slayers."

On the white board, Giles wrote "AZAROTH" under and to the right a bit of "GREAT EVIL" And then linked the two with a line.

"Apparently, the great evil was evil all along. He wasn't turned evil when he was working for good. While he was working for good he was planting the seeds for their defeat in every move he made, including creating this great champion. By empowering one man in every dimension that exists, he only needed one of them to turn evil and he got his wish. Azaroth."

Giles tapped the name on the board for emphasis.

"The great evil was immensely powerful just by himself as was Azaroth but it was always the great evil's plan to combine their powers for one amazingly simple but foolproof plan."

Giles turned to the white board again and wrote "ECHOES" to the left of Azaroth and put a line between it and great evil on the board, so that it looked like the beginnings of a family tree.

"Isn't Tell an echo demon? Boy wonder is the great evil's big plan?" Faith laughed, "It's always the quiet ones."

"Apparently, the foolproof plan of the great evil did not take into account the right fools because it didn't work." Giles explained, "The great evils big almighty plan was to create copies of itself by somehow utilizing one of the special abilities of the proto-slayer. The copies were empty shells when compared to the original evil and are called echoes. A simple analogy if you think about about it. One voice, many echoes."

"Hold on there." Buffy told him, "You're saying Tell is a clone of an ancient primal evil and you had us bring him here!"

"An oversight on my part, I'll admit."

"An oversight?" Buffy yelled at him, "I can't believe this. You're saying Tell is evil? I don't believe it."

"It is possible that he isn't." Giles admitted.

"But it's highly like that he IS evil." Spike argued, "I say that's a good enough reason to kill him now."

"I'm actually siding with Spike on this one." Xander said.

"We can't kill him." Giles told them.

"Sure we can." Spike shot back, "All we have to do is go to the mansion in force and.. how exactly do you kill one of these chaps again?"

"That's the problem." Giles yelled, "I don't think we don't have the physical means to kill him."

Faith snorted, "He's not that tough."

"You're not getting what I'm saying." Giles practically growled, "He can't be killed by purely physical means."

"So we need to a spell?" Willow said simply then a little less enthusiastically asked Giles "Do we have the spell?"

"No. We don't have a spell. Although, I am looking for one." Giles said angrily, "We.. We can't kill him. There are very specific ways to destroy an echo and we don't have access to them anymore."

"Anymore?" Buffy asked.

"Hmm?" Giles asked, looking up from where he was hanging his head.

"You said anymore. We don't have access to them anymore. So we did in the past?"

"Uh, yes." Giles admitted, "The Scythe. From what I've read, it seems that the echoes were manufactured in another dimension and in that same dimension there were weapons created there to counter them, such as the scythe. We could have used the scythe to kill him but .."

"Oh goddess." Willow said in horror, "He had us break it for him."

"Huh?" Faith asked, "It doesn't look broken."

"When we first found it, I got a big powerful vibe off it." Buffy told her, "Now I don't get anything at all. Tell said that it was broken and Tara and Willow tried to fix it but in doing so, they broke it."

"And now only I get, uh, vibes from it." Tara added, "We think it's because I was one of the people who worked the spell on it. It sort of tuned itself away from champions to, well, me."

There was a silence until Anya said what was on everyone's mind, "Maybe Tara could use it to kill Tell."

Tara looked shocked at the idea, "I couldn't. I'm not a fighter. Not you guys."

"I don't like this idea." said Willow.

"Maybe we should teach her a few tricks." Spike said to Buffy, "Just in case."

"It wouldn't hurt." Giles agreed, "For all we know, Tara could be our only hope of defeating Tell if he turned violent."

"I can't be the only hope." Tara said, shaking her head, "We need more hopes."

"Don't worry. He's not that tough." Spike told her, "He's tiny. First time I saw him, I sent him flying."

"And he got right back up, unhurt." Buffy reminded him, "In fact, I don't remember him ever being hurt in our patrols."

"I do." Harmony said, "Not a patrol but there was that time he saved me from those vampires. This fat girl nailed his hands to the ground with his own stakes."

"How did you he get out of that?" Faith asked, interested.

"He bit her throat out." Harmony replied.

"Nice." Faith admitted, "So, did he spit or swallow?"

"I thought I would leave him at least a few mysteries." Harmony said with a smirk.

"Just because Tell made the Scythe useless doesn't make him evil." Buffy told the room, "Maybe he's just scared of it. Wouldn't you be if there was only one weapon in the world that could kill you?"

"There is something else." Giles told her, "Something to do with Slayers."

"Okay. Let's hear it." Buffy told him then mumbled, "It's not like we don't have enough on our plates.'

Giles tapped the "GREAT EVIL" on the white board with his marker.

"The great evil apparently was the driving force behind the chaos wars. Once he was defeated, the chaos wars ended. Several things happened then such as the vampires being created. Azaroth died and his line of champions died with him. No more were called. But it was found that the great evil's power was so great it could not be destroyed. This power was called the heart of darkness."

Giles wrote "HEART OF DARKNESS" in the middle of the white board, under "ECHOES" And "AZAROTH". He drew a line from "GREAT EVIL" down to it.

"The powers that be created a new type of champion to be the guardian of the heart of darkness,. A caretaker if you will."

At the bottom of the whiteboard, he wrote "SLAYERS" and attached it to "HEART OF DARKNESS" with a line.

"Okay. I'm confused." said Faith.

"So am I." Buffy admitted, "What are you saying, Giles?"

"While the council would consider all of this heresy, I'll say it none the less. When the great evil was killed, the heart of darkness exploded and fragments of it landed in every mortal realm across existence. If left unattended to, the heart would coalesce and evil would eventually lay claim it again. To contain it, the powers created the Slayers in which the heart of darkness would be caged."

Giles took off his glasses and rubbing them clean with his shirt but kept talking.

"In some dimensions, gods were charged with the creation of the slayers. In some, men were. In others, the powers themselves intervened. There would appear to be some differences in the slayers from different dimensions but their reason for existing has remained the same. They were never given powers to fight evil but to contain it within them."

"This heart. What is it?" Buffy asked.

"From what I can gather it is both an incredible power and an indescribable evil."

Buffy frowned, "So now you're saying I'm evil?"

Giles shook his head, "No. The book is quite clear on this. The slayers were created to contain this evil. The powers of a slayer, the agility and constitution are just a side effect of their proximity to their proximity to the heart."

"So I'm not really a champion for the powers that be?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far." Giles said with a knowing smile, "There's a section on champions that I've read. I believe you would find it quite insightful. While I do not believe that every slayer in history has been a champion, most of them have the potential. You, Buffy, you've shown that potential more times than I can count. You're a champion."

"Just not because she's a slayer." Willow added then turned to Giles, "Right?"

Giles nodded, "Correct."

Buffy frowned. "Okay. Cool. I made the grade on my own merits. Never thought I'd see the day."

"So I was never supposed to be a champion?" Faith asked, her face contorted in drunken confusion, "That makes a lot of sense."

Buffy patted her on the hand, "Maybe it's not your time yet."

"So that's why the seekers want Faith to turn really bad." Willow said, thinking out-loud, "They saw her potential for evil and wanted to expand on it so that the heart of evil overwhelmed her. Then they could just move in and take it for themselves."

"Not fucking likely." Faith sputtered, "I'd kick their ass."

"Not if you're in a coma." Buffy said cheerfully.

Faith groaned, "You just have to keep bringing that up."

"There is something else." Giles said, tapping the white board for their attention, "The heart of darkness is not something which everyone can wield. It's power is so great that only the most powerful sorcerers would even attempt it. Either that or they would have to be specifically attuned to it, such as an echo."

"Because Tell is a clone of the original owner." Buffy said, understanding, "Oh god. That is so no not a good sign."

Giles nodded in agreement.

"Tell is an empty vessel who was specifically designed to wield the heart. I hope I don't have to explain just how bad it would be if he got it." Giles said as he wiped the whiteboard clean, almost symbolically.

"My mind just keeps rewinding back to the part where we kill him." said Xander, "Giles. Please tell me you've got some ideas."

Giles nodded, "I have a few. They naturally absorb background magic around them, which is what I believe Tara saw him doing. The book hints that it is possible to overload them with magic to destroy their power center. How much magic, I'm not sure but it seems it would require much more than we have. Luckily, I've discovered something in the appendix which could help us."

"Is it another demon?" Xander asked, "Because that didn't work so well last time."

"It's not a demon." Giles said, glaring at Xander, "But humans bestowed with magical abilities from the powers. While most humans are not ideally suited to magic, a select few people can work magic from birth with the ease that you might work mathematics. If we could find one or even two of them, we could explain our situation and perhaps get a hand in solving it."

"You mean killing Tell?" Buffy asked, "I'm still not sure about it. He hasn't really done anything against us yet."

"Besides lying to us." Xander pointed out.

"When?" Buffy asked.

"Maybe lying is too strong a word." Xander said, campy, "Perhaps I should say that he has neglected to mention very important details like, he's a demon, he's also a clone of the biggest baddest demon of all times. And he's really old.. uh, he is old, isn't he?"

Giles nodded, "At least a few thousand years. I can't guess his age due to the fact that he's from another dimension."

"And what about knowing exactly what the scythe is?" Xander asked Buffy, "Or how about the fact that he probably even knew that Azaroth guy that we were all talking about before? But he said nothing."

"He's very private." Buffy replied weakly, "He doesn't like to talk about himself."

"You can't blame him." Harmony added, staring off into nothing, "Hello, I'm a clone of a great evil and I want to eat your slayer heart. That never goes down well."

"Did you find any more out about the Scythe?" Tara asked.

"Very little." Giles admitted, "The creators of the scythe were called the dreamers. Although they were good, the writer of the appendix had a grudging respect for them. He said they were the greatest examples of humanity that existence had to offer. He called them both graceful and noble. He wrote that he wept for them when they died out, which I found most out of character. I can only presume that they must have been very gifted people. I'm sorry I don't have more. The section on the scythe is very small."

"We could put a chip in him." Xander said all of a sudden, "Just like we did to Faith."

Buffy looked at Xander agreeing but then frowned, "Hey Spike, do you think Tell even feels pain?"

Spike frowned too, "I can't remember him ever complaining about it."

"And that would require getting him into an operating table." Anya added, "Which might not be easy."

Buffy shrugged, "He can't be that hard to kill. He has trouble keeping up with me on patrol sometimes."

"He could be holding back." Spike argued.

"No, he's like.." Buffy frowned and hit the table with her head, "Arr! I just don't know. This is making me insane."

"We can't let him know that we're taking measures to neutralize him otherwise he will act against us as he did with the scythe." Giles told the room, "So I suggest we all go back to acting normal around him."

"I don't want to live with that thing." Faith said, disgusted, "He'll eat me in my sleep. I wanna go to Buffy's."

"No way in hell." Buffy told her.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" Faith asked Xander as she pouted.

"No!" Anya yelled a little too loudly, "He's-He told me about you. You're not going anywhere near my Xander."

"Aww." Faith whined then turned to Willow who was sitting next to her and pouted some more.

"Don't look at me like that." Willow said harshly.

"Pluh-eeze?" Faith asked, "I'll be good an' everafing."

Willow looked to Tara for support but her blonde lover just said "She can use the sleeping bag."

"Oh, you're the greatest." Faith said, group hugging the two witches.

"But just for tonight." Willow told her as she wiggled out of the hug, "I don't think I can sleep with you in the same room."

"Cool. It'll be just a slumber party." Faith laughed, "Hey, will I get a show?"

"That's enough of that." Giles told them as he put the whiteboard away, "It's getting late, you can all go home. Buffy, keep some ice on that head. Spike, keep an eye on Tell. If he does anything unusual, call Buffy then call me."

There were a few murmurs but everyone quickly left, leaving Giles and Harmony alone.

"It's so weird." Harmony said as Giles cleaned up the meeting.

"What is?"

"Tell."

"Yes, quite."

"He's so cute."

Giles stopped and looked at her, "You think he's cute."

Harmony shook her head, "I mean in a child like way. Not in a sexy way."

Giles smirked, "He is quite cute, isn't he?"

Harmony pursed her lips in annoyance then smirked too, "Yeah. He is. Do you think that.."

"What?"

"Buffy. Do you think that she's a little too protective of him? You tell her that he's this big evil demon and she acts like she didn't even hear you."

Giles pondered this, "Buffy's a gifted girl. Not just with her physical powers but mentally as well. I think she's wary of Tell but is willing to give him a chance as well. It is entirely possible that he's not here for some ulterior motive."

"So you don't think she's using Tell as a rebound guy for Riley?"

Giles looked at her thoughtfully, "No. I hope not."

OXOXOX

The Summers house.

Spike was letting himself in as he escorted Buffy home.

"Put some ice on the back of your neck. I find it helps with concussion."

"Sure." Buffy said, trudging towards the kitchen, "So tell me, what do you think about Tell?"

"He's evil. We should kill him. Together. It'll be fun."

Buffy sighed, "And you're not biased at all, are you?"

Spike put on a shocked mask that Buffy saw straight through and he asked "Why would you suggest that?"

"Because then you'd get all that posh mansion all to yourself?"

"Oh yeah." Spike said, smiling, "That would be nice."

"What are you guys talking about?" Dawn asked, back into her normal clothes and having removed most of her makeup.

"Have you been in my make up again?" Buffy asked, noting the dark color of Dawn's lips.

"No." Dawn said defensively, "I've been in Faiths."

"Bad news, nibblet." Spike said glumly, "Tell's evil."

"What!" Dawn asked, shocked.

"Spike!" Buffy growled at him, "We don't know that."

"You don't but I do."

"Spike. You've worn out your welcome. Leave. Now." Buffy commanded him.

"Fine." Spike said, walking backwards towards the back door, "I'm leaving. Hope you're happy."

"Why did he say that?" Dawn asked, "Did Tell do something?"

"No." Buffy said, looking back to see Spike looking back at her as he moved across their back lawn, "He hasn't done anything."

Outside, Spike turned away as his game face turned on and he clenched his fists so hard his knuckled crackled.

"Stupid blondie." he growled as he walked out the back entrance of the property, "Doesn't know he's no good for her."

"Who isn't good for her?" Tell asked as he moved out of the shadows. Up until then, the drab dark greys and browns of his clothing and hat had made him just another shade.

"You." Spike spat in both an angry greeting and an answer, "What are you doing here? You should be at home."

"Couldn't sleep. So I decided to go for a walk."

"I'm onto you, buddy. I've got your number."

Tell pouted, "Aww, I thought we were becoming friends."

"You stay away from her. I don't care what sort of demon you are, I'll clean your clock."

Tell looked Spike in the eye and smirked.

"Careful Spike. Your demons showing. That's sloppy. Really sloppy." said the demon that looked like a boy as he turned his back on Spike and walked away.

Spike reached up and touched the bumpies on his forehead and snarled.

"Fine. I'll play it your way." Spike said to himself and forced the game face away.

"You hear me?" Spike yelled out to the night, having already lost track of Tell, "This is my town. No one can screw with me here."

He didn't get an answer.

"My town!"

OXOXOXOX

Fin, until the next episode at least.

Phew. Did that one seem a bit longer than the others or was it just me?

And did that cloning thing sound familiar? It should, considering this is mostly BTVS.


End file.
